July 2016 | Notes Archive »


1929 — 2016

I have lived long enough.
Too many years alone
…in this tiny place
until memories are not enough
to sustain me.
I want it to be like this:
I will put on my nightdress,
Turn off the kindle
then the light
I will get beneath the covers
all cozy
like my sister’s doll in her bed.
I will lay on my back
close my eyes and tell my poor old heart
to stop.

I have lived too long.
It is time to go.
I know they won’t miss me
too much
and I am sorry
for the little mess.

I need to go.
I am ready.
I hope their sadness
will be short.

I don’t really believe in anything
though my sister does.
She will hope to see me again
I know.

I was eleven
when she was born
and she upset the lovely
applecart of my life
but she did care for me
in sweet ways
which I sometimes questioned.

Was the too sentimental sister mug
too corny?
She said no it wasn’t.
That dearness made me smile.

It’s time to go.

Goodbye books
and recipes
and animals I have known
— my grandfather’s loving cup
on its marble base.
Goodbye photographs
on easels
and my china.
Goodbye sentimental bits
from my little sister.
Goodbye good son
and little sister.

I am ready for my cosmic journey
with its destination unknown.
Despite what Kathy thinks.

It is time to go.